IF WE WERE ME By Adeola Godwin

If we were me… hmm. This thought’s crossed my mind a couple of times in the past but I never really dwelt on it until recently. I was online, trying to prevent boredom from paralysing me when my colleague, Demola raised the topic and challenged me to write something on it with the hashtag #ifwewereme. I must add, Demola is as eccentric as he is cool. Yep, he’s dope like that (winks).
So, ‘if we were me’ basically is a positive/ironic/satirical/outright negative description of what the world would look like if God created everybody in this world to be just like… me! I honestly think the world would be a nice place if everyone was me… I mean, like seriously.
If we were me, the world won’t be perfect but it would be a safe place. At least corruption and propaganda will be virtually non-existent, given the fact that I’m as easy going as it gets. People would put their neighbour’s interest at heart and there would be cordiality of interpersonal relationships and reduced narcissism. Randomly speaking though, If we were me, people like Hitler would never have existed, that’s for sure. People like the Kardashians who make millions from doing practically nothing would definitely remain irrelevant (not hating, just saying); the absurdity we call selfie sticks would probably not have been conceived (yeah, I’m definitely hating). Maybe, just maybe relationships would last a tad bit longer and be more meaningful than the charade obtainable today.
If we were me, our dear PMB would definitely have been educated, and at least CNN would never have to use subtitles and translators even when he’s speaking English (in his defence, his thick Fulani accent is to blame) and the economy won’t be running on reverse gear. Just saying. If we were me; doctors, engineers and scientists who actually contribute to humanity will be paid better than entertainers (Yes I said it).
If we were me, our politicians would be more of Chief Servants and far less of kleptomaniacs, pilfering crooks or glorified robbers. Integrity and loyalty would actually mean something. Perhaps, if we were me, all humans will be treated equally and the world would be a better place and we’ll all hold our hands together singing ‘Kumbaya’ and then live happily ever after. Or maybe not. I’m not being completely honest here and I’m trying (and failing) to stay objective here. For starters, I’m not always happy with myself. So how could I possibly live happily ever after? I’m glad we’re not me! No. seriously I’m ecstatic the other 7 Billion individuals on this planet are not me. It would have been freagin’ BLAND! Looking at it from another paradigm, if we were all me, there would be total world peace and that would probably be boring.
If we were me the world would be a monotonous place, lacking neither variety nor any spark of spontaneity. Life would be unbearably melancholic. Why? I think I’m phlegmatic melancholic by temperament, i.e. barring the occasional outbursts of silliness. The point I’m trying to make out of all this is that if humans were clones of one person, it won’t be too nice. I find comfort in the fact that I’m the only one of my kind. My strengths, my weaknesses, my flaws and idiosyncrasies are what make me as unique a human being.
Right now I don’t know how best to end this write up. Should I drop some deep lines, or some kind of sage advice or food for thought? Ummm, I can’t say I feel any compunction whatsoever to do so. But then, the fact that you were patient enough to read through this terrible write up means you deserve better. Too bad I don’t really care.
Dare to be you. Nobody else could possibly do it better
Submitted by Adeola Godwin. Most profound #ifwewereme I’ve read so far.

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